This week I am going to touch upon the subject of incorporating lost loved ones at a wedding. Although it is a celebratory occasion and you don’t want to create a sad atmosphere, if the person was especially important to you, you may want to find a way to honour them. There are some really powerful ways of remembering late friends or relatives that won’t detract from the festivities. In a way, they will enhance them by being special to you, and they also allow everyone to appreciate their own presence.
When approaching this subject, you firstly need to consider who it directly affects and make sure that they too are aware that you will be arranging something into the wedding. The last thing you want is to catch someone off guard, be sensitive and give them time to process it before the day. I can’t imagine that anyone would take offence to a tasteful tribute, however, if they are feeling emotional, and they will be at a wedding, you are going to want to make sure they have some pocket tissues close just in case. Also, take on board, timing, if this is a very recent happening in your family, it might be best to create a more intimate memory with just your immediate family than your full guests. That will of course, depend on the circumstances and your feelings at the time too.
Now coming on to how to create a fond memory. The nice thing about this, is that it is totally personal and can be discussed as a family, you don’t have to decide these things on your own. It is normal to toast absent friends in the speeches, but what if that isn’t enough? There might be certain formalities that you could include if it is a military wedding, a dedication from the choir at the church or going over to the complete opposite and having mini bottles of gin as favours – because it was grandad’s favourite. There was a really touching story released not so long ago of a lady who asked the man that received her father’s heart via an organ donation, to walk her down the aisle. They met for the first time the day before the wedding and he attended the whole day including part of her father daughter dance. It was a lovely story, and if you ever get the chance to read it, then definitely do.
I think the nicest time to touch on remembrance is during the wedding ceremony. Releasing butterflies after a reading can create a lovely moment, they are beautiful creatures naturally, so nothing really needs to be added. It will speak for itself. Make sure you contact a reputable company so that this is ethical and they use the correct butterflies for the time of year and surroundings. If that doesn’t quite suit, then a white balloon ceremony can also be quite something. This can be done after the ceremony and outside when you are having photos, you and the groom can set yours off first and if you want to say a few words then that would be your moment.
You can wear something of theirs and make it your something old or borrowed. A father’s watch, grandmother’s locket or wedding ring can be woven into your bouquet if given to the florist the day before. That can be quite special as they are precious items that you will walk down the aisle with. You can say it with flowers, a bouquet of forget-me-nots, or a single rose on the seat of the chair that would have been your loved ones’. I have once before seen an embroidered ceremony aisle runner, they are normally personalised to say the bride and groom’s names on, but on this occasion, it was a poem written for the bride’s father. Although, I imagine that the aisle walk was hard for her, the thing that got her to the end was the words written at the very beginning.
What I am trying to get across in this week’s blog is that, although it is sad that they aren’t there on the day. They would be very happy for you, so in your tribute, keep the tone as positive as possible so that the moment can be peaceful.
Dedicated to my wonderful friend – ‘if you’re lost you can look and you will find me’
Happy planning, see you next week
Love Atlanta Haze x